Funny Drive Through Video!

This is just absolutely silly, Happy Friday!

xxoo

Thoughts for you today!

Saw this card today & it made me think of all of you

Can't remember for the life of me where I found it

but it made me think of us!

I shoulda stayed home!

So I have a night to myself

Joe has taken the girls camping

I decide, I am going to shop for a dress

I need a dress for the girls communion

So I head over to Brier Creek to TJ Maxx

I find a couple of cute dresses and enter the fitting room

I am down to my undies & bra

and I hear

.....Oh Lawd

That thing is sparking

....Oh Lawd

Followed by a store associate-

....Please leave the dressing room immediately

Leave the clothes, just get out

Seriously!

Come on, I am in my undies

I was so pissed

then i got really scared

I was like I don't want to get stampeded on my way out the door of

TJ Maxx

That is not how I want to go

In a panic I pull up my pants

leave them 1/2 buttoned

I exit the stall & look up to see sparks flying out of the air vent

for realzzzz!

so I high tail it out of the store

leaving a trail of "freak out" behind me

Didnt stick around to see how it all turned out

I just ran

Then I decide, since I am here I will try Ross

Never been in there

Lets give it a looksie

Get there, the sign on the door says

CASH ONLY, computer problems,

no credit or debit cards acceptable

ARE YOU SHITTING ME?

WTF

REALLY, WTF

Well, I went in anyway

Shoulda left when I had the chance

Tried on 9 dresses

and now I am in spiral of self hate

I hate my body

why cant I be a size 4

size 4 dresses are cute

everything

I try on looks like shit

I hate shopping

I need a personal shopper

I bet Kate Middleton haas a personal shopper

Waaaaaah I want to be a princess & have a personal shopper

So then I leave Ross

disgusted

to see this lovely sight

Then I realize

well, maybe I narrowly escaped death at TJ Maxx so

So this is a blessing, right....

OK

I make peace with myself & decide to hit up the mall this week

I hop back in my car to drive home

with in 5 minutes of my house

I look down & notice this

Gas light on E

This is so not my day!

NEED MORE POSTS!

COME ON LADIES

STEP IT UP

DO YOU NEED A TUTORIAL?

YOU KNOW YOU HAVE SOMETHING HILARIOUS TO ADD CAUSE WE ARE ALL AMAZING

ANY TOPIC WILL DO

BRING IT!

Another moment in the life of a Real Housewife...

The setting: dinnertime. Cooking my family a delicious Italian pasta dish while wearing a low cut spaghetti-strap nighty. After microwaving the cherry tomatoes, I used a chopper to finish crushing them not thinking about possible explosions. The phone starting ringing announcing my mother in law and at that same time a juicy tomato ruptured squirting hot lava all over my chest. A painful scream left my body and I ripped my nighty down exposing "the girls" and hosed them down with the kitchen spray nozzle like I was filming an X-rated version of, "The Real Housewives". My husband had been doing yard work and heard the damsel in distress cry and burst through the door. I'm sure the image was surprising. "Are you hurt?"...and the comedian famous for the "here's your sign" jokes comes to mind. "No, I just decided to rinse off while making dinner to save time. Here's your sign."

Oh yeah, I'm not 17...

Spring Break 2011 was an adventure starting at the beach & ending in the mountains. There was 5 of us loaded in our swagger wagon with a heap of [nicely organized] stuff. My husband John, our 3yr old daughter Amelia & my 2 nephews Randy (17) & Scott (15). Whenever we can, we always include my two younger nephews (the eldest, Daniel is 19 & busy with the "gray area" of life) because they are fun, helpful and more like brothers since I'm actually closer in age to them than my own sister. Our first stop was Atlantic Beach. Resort was nice but needed some TLC. I love having a kitchen or kitchenette to prepare snacks (I'm southern so I know love grows in the belly) but there was nothing which left me feeling a little lost. What could I whip up with an igloo cooler & an in-room college beer fridge? We hit the resort beach lunch shack and waited 25 minutes for acknowledgment. Hello! It should be mandatory to skip the retired couple & group of young kids for the table with a toddler! By the time our poor at best basketed food arrived Amelia had run out to the ocean twice, got soaked by the waves, dumped our ice waters down the deck cracks, poured salt all over the table, stole the sugar packet bowl and ran with it...the list goes on. An anxiety pill & stiff drink was needed but not available. I had to settle for questionable looking water they was tainted by toddler hands. This meal time visual picture is pretty much how every meal played out including the crappy service which was unreal. We kept waiting for the hidden cameras. Typical family beach fun & the boys had there long boards (ultra cool skate boards) for entertainment and an instant chick magnetic draw. There was so much teen eye candy on the beach I don't know how the boy's eyes didn't just explode from overload. Thank goodness they were all like 14 or I would've sat on the beach & cried. I already appeared to be a beached whale next to the pile of teen bones splayed out on towels. Within hours of our arrival the boys had been chased down by a friend who spotted them long boarding. Soon 2 teen boys grew to 6 teen boys and I discovered our room was feeling a little frat house like. I was getting annoyed at the strangely colored substances in the Gatorade bottles and questionable aromas and proceeded to vacate our territory while still maintaining my cool persona. Result was all of them hangin on the beach with us playing great with Amelia, skim boarding and checking out chicks. I put my two cents in whenever possible. That girl??? No way guys....see how she blah blah. No one wants to deal with that & she probably doesn't even know how to make a bowl of cereal (always comes back to cooking for me).
To be continued...
ZZZZZZbedtime

Fanny Pack

This is brought to you by PACT Member **Smash**- our resident make up artist & activities planner!

There's something to be said about the fanny pack. I HATE feeling like a mule all the time with purses, bags, etc. I don't own a fashionable fanny but the designers should bring them back in style! If not, you may see my face blacked out in the next fashion no-no mag. Just sayin....

Thoughts?