Another moment in the life of a Real Housewife...

The setting: dinnertime. Cooking my family a delicious Italian pasta dish while wearing a low cut spaghetti-strap nighty. After microwaving the cherry tomatoes, I used a chopper to finish crushing them not thinking about possible explosions. The phone starting ringing announcing my mother in law and at that same time a juicy tomato ruptured squirting hot lava all over my chest. A painful scream left my body and I ripped my nighty down exposing "the girls" and hosed them down with the kitchen spray nozzle like I was filming an X-rated version of, "The Real Housewives". My husband had been doing yard work and heard the damsel in distress cry and burst through the door. I'm sure the image was surprising. "Are you hurt?"...and the comedian famous for the "here's your sign" jokes comes to mind. "No, I just decided to rinse off while making dinner to save time. Here's your sign."

Oh yeah, I'm not 17...

Spring Break 2011 was an adventure starting at the beach & ending in the mountains. There was 5 of us loaded in our swagger wagon with a heap of [nicely organized] stuff. My husband John, our 3yr old daughter Amelia & my 2 nephews Randy (17) & Scott (15). Whenever we can, we always include my two younger nephews (the eldest, Daniel is 19 & busy with the "gray area" of life) because they are fun, helpful and more like brothers since I'm actually closer in age to them than my own sister. Our first stop was Atlantic Beach. Resort was nice but needed some TLC. I love having a kitchen or kitchenette to prepare snacks (I'm southern so I know love grows in the belly) but there was nothing which left me feeling a little lost. What could I whip up with an igloo cooler & an in-room college beer fridge? We hit the resort beach lunch shack and waited 25 minutes for acknowledgment. Hello! It should be mandatory to skip the retired couple & group of young kids for the table with a toddler! By the time our poor at best basketed food arrived Amelia had run out to the ocean twice, got soaked by the waves, dumped our ice waters down the deck cracks, poured salt all over the table, stole the sugar packet bowl and ran with it...the list goes on. An anxiety pill & stiff drink was needed but not available. I had to settle for questionable looking water they was tainted by toddler hands. This meal time visual picture is pretty much how every meal played out including the crappy service which was unreal. We kept waiting for the hidden cameras. Typical family beach fun & the boys had there long boards (ultra cool skate boards) for entertainment and an instant chick magnetic draw. There was so much teen eye candy on the beach I don't know how the boy's eyes didn't just explode from overload. Thank goodness they were all like 14 or I would've sat on the beach & cried. I already appeared to be a beached whale next to the pile of teen bones splayed out on towels. Within hours of our arrival the boys had been chased down by a friend who spotted them long boarding. Soon 2 teen boys grew to 6 teen boys and I discovered our room was feeling a little frat house like. I was getting annoyed at the strangely colored substances in the Gatorade bottles and questionable aromas and proceeded to vacate our territory while still maintaining my cool persona. Result was all of them hangin on the beach with us playing great with Amelia, skim boarding and checking out chicks. I put my two cents in whenever possible. That girl??? No way guys....see how she blah blah. No one wants to deal with that & she probably doesn't even know how to make a bowl of cereal (always comes back to cooking for me).
To be continued...
ZZZZZZbedtime

THIS IS WHY I GET NOTHING DONE-problems with ADD

Here is what my day was like-

Ritalin Anyone????:

6:00 am-Sky comes in dressed for school, ready to snuggle as my alarm goes off

this was the highlight of my day, my girls RARELY snuggle anymore!

6:15 am-after snuggles w/ my Noops (Sky's nickname) & hitting the snooze button,

i get up dressed & ready for work,

apply make up 1/2 assed(you would not approve Ash)

then change 17 times before i decide on an outfit

6:58-rush downstairs,

write a check for school,

make tea for my travel mug(disney of course)

grab banana & bag for work, off i go

7:29.59-pull into work just in time

8:30-finish testing & tutoring, decide I should head to walmart

8:34-in my car thinking it is a really good idea to check email

8:45-still in school parking lot writing posts to Facebook about American Idol

8:49-drive to Walmart & park car, enter store where i don't really need shit

9:20-leave store with shit i don't really need & drive home

(Shit I Don't Need)

Between the hours of 9:40& 3:30 this is what i did:

get home

change into comfy clothes

make coffee, drink first cup

strip sheets off our bed

put in load of laundry

unload dishwasher

call my dad(his sister just passed away-90 years old)

start making meatballs & sauce for dinner tonight

make bowl of oatmeal for breakfast

eat bowl of said oatmeal

drink second cup of coffee

let dogs out, let dogs in (repeated 3 times over course of several hours)

paint shelf for girls room that i bought at the goodwill 6 months ago

scrub other shelf w/ primitive stars that i also bought at good will 6 months ago

check Facebook & email 17 times......

drive to Cathy's, take Riley with me to let Sage out

almost ram into the mailman who is in our driveway & I dont bother to realize till I am half out of the garage!!!!

attempt drive to Cathys again

drop off old teaching materials while at Cathy's, realize I forgot 2 items(imagine that)!

speak to my HS friend Colleen while I am at Cathy's & watching the dogs play

drive home with Riley

paint little chair that i am planning to mod podge

(chair that I will be modge podging soon, post coming)

go up in attic to look for country/primitive stuff for shelf

download no rain ring tone

said some prayers for some people in need

wonder why I can never get anything done!

start writing this post

put wet laundry into dryer

clean up paint supplies

ask joe to hang shelves for me

do suggestive dance so Joe will hang shelves for me,

(well what i thought was suggestive, others may call spastic & awkward)

eat meatballs that i made for lunch

ask Joe about his Crossfit work out

listen to joe tell me about his Crossfit workout

fantasize about Joe's trainer who he describes in full detail (about all his tight muscles)

-is that wrong??

for

Joe to be describing OR me to be fantasizing????

or both????

write more on this post

take photos for this post

swiffer kitchen floor

Still wonder why i get nothing done........

Now I am ready for a nap & the girls bus will be here in a minute!!!!!

SQUIRREL!

Tell me about your ADD day!