NEED MORE POSTS!

COME ON LADIES

STEP IT UP

DO YOU NEED A TUTORIAL?

YOU KNOW YOU HAVE SOMETHING HILARIOUS TO ADD CAUSE WE ARE ALL AMAZING

ANY TOPIC WILL DO

BRING IT!

Another moment in the life of a Real Housewife...

The setting: dinnertime. Cooking my family a delicious Italian pasta dish while wearing a low cut spaghetti-strap nighty. After microwaving the cherry tomatoes, I used a chopper to finish crushing them not thinking about possible explosions. The phone starting ringing announcing my mother in law and at that same time a juicy tomato ruptured squirting hot lava all over my chest. A painful scream left my body and I ripped my nighty down exposing "the girls" and hosed them down with the kitchen spray nozzle like I was filming an X-rated version of, "The Real Housewives". My husband had been doing yard work and heard the damsel in distress cry and burst through the door. I'm sure the image was surprising. "Are you hurt?"...and the comedian famous for the "here's your sign" jokes comes to mind. "No, I just decided to rinse off while making dinner to save time. Here's your sign."

Oh yeah, I'm not 17...

Spring Break 2011 was an adventure starting at the beach & ending in the mountains. There was 5 of us loaded in our swagger wagon with a heap of [nicely organized] stuff. My husband John, our 3yr old daughter Amelia & my 2 nephews Randy (17) & Scott (15). Whenever we can, we always include my two younger nephews (the eldest, Daniel is 19 & busy with the "gray area" of life) because they are fun, helpful and more like brothers since I'm actually closer in age to them than my own sister. Our first stop was Atlantic Beach. Resort was nice but needed some TLC. I love having a kitchen or kitchenette to prepare snacks (I'm southern so I know love grows in the belly) but there was nothing which left me feeling a little lost. What could I whip up with an igloo cooler & an in-room college beer fridge? We hit the resort beach lunch shack and waited 25 minutes for acknowledgment. Hello! It should be mandatory to skip the retired couple & group of young kids for the table with a toddler! By the time our poor at best basketed food arrived Amelia had run out to the ocean twice, got soaked by the waves, dumped our ice waters down the deck cracks, poured salt all over the table, stole the sugar packet bowl and ran with it...the list goes on. An anxiety pill & stiff drink was needed but not available. I had to settle for questionable looking water they was tainted by toddler hands. This meal time visual picture is pretty much how every meal played out including the crappy service which was unreal. We kept waiting for the hidden cameras. Typical family beach fun & the boys had there long boards (ultra cool skate boards) for entertainment and an instant chick magnetic draw. There was so much teen eye candy on the beach I don't know how the boy's eyes didn't just explode from overload. Thank goodness they were all like 14 or I would've sat on the beach & cried. I already appeared to be a beached whale next to the pile of teen bones splayed out on towels. Within hours of our arrival the boys had been chased down by a friend who spotted them long boarding. Soon 2 teen boys grew to 6 teen boys and I discovered our room was feeling a little frat house like. I was getting annoyed at the strangely colored substances in the Gatorade bottles and questionable aromas and proceeded to vacate our territory while still maintaining my cool persona. Result was all of them hangin on the beach with us playing great with Amelia, skim boarding and checking out chicks. I put my two cents in whenever possible. That girl??? No way guys....see how she blah blah. No one wants to deal with that & she probably doesn't even know how to make a bowl of cereal (always comes back to cooking for me).
To be continued...
ZZZZZZbedtime

Fanny Pack

This is brought to you by PACT Member **Smash**- our resident make up artist & activities planner!

There's something to be said about the fanny pack. I HATE feeling like a mule all the time with purses, bags, etc. I don't own a fashionable fanny but the designers should bring them back in style! If not, you may see my face blacked out in the next fashion no-no mag. Just sayin....

Thoughts?

Girlfriends!

A group of 15-year-old girls discussed where they should

meet for dinner. Finally, it was agreed upon that they should meet at

the Dairy Queen next to the Ocean View restaurant because they only had

$6.00 between them and Jimmy Johnson, that cute boy in Social Studies lives on that street and they might see him and they can ride their bikes there.

10 years later, the group of 25 year old girlfriends

discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally, it was agreed upon

that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the beer was

cheap, they had free snacks, the band was good, there was no cover and

there were lots of cute guys.

10 years later, at 35 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally, it was agreed upon

that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the cosmos

were good, it was right near the gym and if they go late enough, there

wouldn't be too many whiny little kids.

10 years later, at 45 years of age, the group once again

discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally, it was agreed upon

that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the martinis

were big, and the waiters there had tight pants and nice buns.

10 years later, at 55 years of age, the group once again

discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed they

should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the food there was reasonable, the wine list was good, they had windows that open in case

of a hot flash, and fish is good for your cholesterol.

10 years later, at 65 years of age, the group once again

discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that

they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because lighting was good

and they have an early bird special.

10 years later, at 75 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because food was not too spicy, the restaurant was handicapped accessible and they even had an

elevator!

10 years later, at 85 years of age, the group once again

discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that

they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they had never

been there before.

Pretty Pretty Please! YOU ARE PERFECT TO ME!!!

New underpants i like

low rise bikinis from walmart.........

They were nice enough to use my image on their packaging

no

they really didnt

but it would be nice if that was what i really looked like

one day i did look like that

but i didnt know it

the trouble I could have gotten into if I knew I had it going on

boom~chicka~wow~wow

Anyway this post is about underpants that i like

I really like these,

they are low rise,

they dont ride up,

they are cute...

sorry i didnt include the actual pics of the undies

nor did i include a pic of me wearing these undies

I didn't want to scare you all

But if you are looking for undies that are truly Low Rise

these are great!

and cheap too!